And so it begins. Again.
From a recent e-mail to a friend:
“I have gotten NOTHING done today. Nothing. At all. Am like sloth on vicodin.”
This pretty much sums up the past year for me, writing-wise. The immense pleasure I get out of seeing my own words, written down, laid out for the world to see, has not made much headway in its ongoing battle against The Drive to Vegetate.
I mean, seriously — for fuck’s sake. I have been in Iraq (AGAIN) for more than a year now. The possibilities are endless, when it comes to blog fodder (which term, incidentally, makes me think of the internet as a giant, slobbering cow, chewing relentlessly on its anecdote-cud), yet for some reason, the stories I write in my head never make themselves into any concrete form. And I am too lethargic to do it for them.
So, I thought I’d start over. I’ve “maintained” a couple of different journals around town, and I think that subconsciously, they were beginning to intimidate me. They were all “UPDATE ME” and I was all “OKAYYY SHUT UP” and one of them was all “BUT DON’T FORGET TO TAKE THE DIRTY WORDS OUT FIRST” and the other was all “AND MAKE SURE YOU FORMAT ME CORRECTLY OR I WILL TAKE A DUMP ON YOUR CHEST” until I finally just decided it was all just too much and fuck it, I’m going to sleep.
But then I realized that I was composing all of these stories in my head, and they were being forgotten and I wanted to write them down, but so much work blarrrgh and now I am Resolved. I am going to give this one more try, with a new site and a new name and the same old insanity — because some things never change.
The new blog is named Ferocity Mill because it is a partial anagram of my name (Anagram Generator! It helps you waste time! Or, A Wheelie Tips My Touts!), and I thought it suited my overall tone: I manufacture strong emotion, which is then used to generate words for people to read and think Has she, perhaps, Lost It? And perhaps I have. But at least It is now visible, which makes me feel much, much better.
Stay tuned.
on April 3, 2008 on 6:39 pm
Hello again. This is lostyetlooking from xanga. Good to see you back and i can’t wait to read more from your unique perspective. For starters - the movie Stop Loss: Realistically addressing the problem or cashing in on tragedy?
on April 3, 2008 on 6:44 pm
Whoo hoo! Sweet! Welcome to WordPress! So glad you’re back to blogging again. I have missed you. Also, I used the term “blog fodder” just this morning. Did our mind-waves cross? Claudia
on April 3, 2008 on 7:18 pm
Don’t forget us little people!!!!!
on April 3, 2008 on 7:25 pm
Glad to see you back! In case you’re confused about who this is, I used to be thedetails back on Diaryland, but I moved. Seems to be a trend these days. Anyways, I’m glad to see you writing again and I look forward to reading more from you.
on April 3, 2008 on 7:28 pm
Oh, I am staying tuned!
XOXOX
on April 3, 2008 on 7:59 pm
Yay, you live! I hear there are quite a few jobs at the ferocity mill once you’re stateside again.
on April 3, 2008 on 8:03 pm
I’ll follow you. Your posts make my day!
on April 3, 2008 on 8:10 pm
I’m so glad you left a forwarding address over at diaryland!
on April 3, 2008 on 9:03 pm
Wooo Hooo! I’m glad you’re writing again!
on April 3, 2008 on 10:14 pm
I’ve bookmarked this until I can figure out how to sub!
on April 3, 2008 on 10:25 pm
Totally subscribed. Yay you.
on April 3, 2008 on 11:32 pm
Love the new name. I’m subscribed too.
I volunteered at the zoo once upon a time and the number of people who would ask what was wrong with the sloth, on the rare occasions that he deigned to creep around the exhibit. “Well, he’s a sloth.” “Yes, I know but, what’s wrong with him? Why is he so slow?” “Ummm, because he’s a sloth.”
on April 4, 2008 on 12:11 am
I’m seriously considering jumping the xanga ship, too… you may have just inspired me.
on April 4, 2008 on 12:15 am
“I will follow you, follow you wherever you maaaaay go-o-o-o-o!!!!” Sorry just doing a little blogaoke at the F’yette Library. We all go through those dry spells, my dear. I’ll see something really stupid at Weggies and say OMG, that would be so funny in my blog and then by time I get home I’m like Bleeeergg-g-g-g. Forget it. I’m gonna lay down now. zonk. welcome back and welcome to WordPress. Its like trading in a bad idiot boyfriend (diaryland) for a really cute loving one (wordpress). Its not perfect, but its way the hell better. Welcome!!
on April 4, 2008 on 3:41 am
Fuckin A :o) you’re back…
on April 4, 2008 on 4:01 am
It’s always lovely to get an e-mail telling me you’ve updated. I hope you enjoy your new blog and that you can come home soon.
on April 4, 2008 on 4:05 am
Happy to see you’re writing again. I never commented on your other journal, mostly because by the time I found it, you were back in Iraq (AGAIN) and would have felt foolish commenting. I did read your entire archives though which provided me many hours of entertainment….and thusly much saddness when I saw the hiatus. Looking forward new and refreshing hilarity. In case you’re curious, I found you through Andria.
on April 4, 2008 on 5:36 am
cool!! glad to see the new place. you’re bookmarked, as I’m too much of a Luddite to figure out how to subscribe….
on April 4, 2008 on 6:11 am
Of course we’ll follow you. Would you like to stay on at 12% Beer? I can make you a new icon and everything.